College drop-out part 2

There is probably a lot more I could say about my short college career. I could talk about how chemistry and calculus were absolute nightmares. Or about how my "guidance counselor" type lady, while we were making up my schedule and picking classes, told me I should take this great "Pilgrimage and Tourism" anthropology class, because it also counted as a writing credit, and I needed that, except it turned out to actually be really terrible and boring (except for the time the professor took us to a local Hindu temple for a service. That was actually a pretty awesome experience.) Or about how I took ceramics because I needed an art credit and I thought, "I took ceramics in junior high school, it was really fun and easy", but this class turned out to be the opposite of fun and easy. Or about how I was really excited about joining the school's equestrian team because, even though I can probably count on one hand all the times I've actually ridden a horse before, I love horses and how freaking cool would it be if I was a famous world traveler who saved endangered species and discovered new ones, AND also an Olympic equestrian gold medalist?! But they decided that, the year I started college, they were putting the equestrian team on hold, or something, and it wasn't happening. But I wont talk about all that.

For a typical college freshman, you needed to take 12 credits to be considered full-time. I was taking 24. I declared my major right away. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life, remember? So I took all of the classes the guidance councilor type lady told me I needed for my major. I was excited at first. I was on the road to my dream job! But it soon became very clear that this was just too overwhelming. And I couldn't handle it.

I wasn't making friends. I wasn't doing cool "college-type" activities, like going to parties and joining clubs. I had Leni, who I hung out with rarely, and I had signed up to volunteer at a cat shelter one Saturday, and at a thrift store another one. Other than this, I did nothing. I spent all of my time in my dorm room by myself, or with a roommate I didn't like. My classes were hard. I was doing poorly in chemistry (which I did well in, in high school, so that confused me) and calculus, and just okay in my other classes. I was able to get pretty good grades in high school with very little effort. I wasn't prepared for this work load. I wasn't able to go home, or anywhere, when ever I wanted and that bothered me. I was getting really depressed. I stopped going to the anthropology/writing class and to ceramics. Then I stopped going to my biology and chemistry labs, which was stupid because the bio and chem lab teachers were also the regular class teachers. But then I just stopped going to classes all together. I slept in til late morning, when pretty much everyone was in class, and sneaked off to the little shop that was down stairs from the cafeteria to get coffee and some sort of muffin/pastry. Then I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. I either ate what I had there, or ate nothing. I think this is when I became addicted to being on the computer as much as possible.

I never officially dropped out of school. No body there knew I was leaving besides my roommate and Leni. When everyone was getting ready to visit home for Christmas break, I was just getting ready to go home. My parents came up to help me pack up all my stuff to take back home. I don't know if my parents where/are disappointed in me for what happened. They never said they were, and I know they understood how I was feeling and why I wanted to leave. I don't think they're disappointed. I'm sure they would have been super mega proud if I stayed in school and got good grades and graduated and followed my dream. But I know they're still proud of me now. I don't put this on my resume under "schools" or talk about it to potential employers, or put it on anything that asks about schools, because, according to my record, I failed out of college. In 5 months. It's pretty embarrassing. So, I feel like no one (as far as employers or other schools) needs to know about it.

This was, like, 5 and a half years ago. Obviously a lot has happened between then and now, but I'm not going to go into any of it right now. So, now you're wondering, this was the first college drop out- what about the other two? I'm not going to go into nearly as much detail as I did about Cedar Crest. Frankly, there isn't that much to go into.

Both of these next failures where on-line colleges. Actually, it was the same on-line college, twice. I'm really surprised they even accepted me a second time. This is when I decided that I wanted to get certified as a veterinary technician. I've been working as one since 2007; there are not many places (none that I've run into) that require you to be certified. But, I thought it would be cool if I was. I tried twice, but it turns out- as much as Cedar Crest College wasn't for me, on-line school is really not for me. I absolutely do not have the concentration for it. If I'm going to be on the computer, I'm NOT going to be doing school work. Why do work and study when there's OMG fun stuff to do just over here in this next tab! I get distracted way too easily to do school on the computer.  It's as simple as that.

And that is my story, about how I am a triple college drop out. I feel like I'm just not college material. I did my school thing when I had to, but now that it's my choice, it seems like I repeatedly choose not to do well. Does it mean I'll never try again? No. I may. But I don't know.

And now, Bea has crept up behind me on the back of the couch, put her paws on my shoulder and stuck her nose in my ear, then jumped into my lap and curled up. Which means she demands that I stop paying attention to the computer, and start paying attention to her.