I was unable to fall asleep tonight, so I figured I'd blog about it.
My brain was doing that thing where, even though my body is tired, it just wouldn't relax and stop thinking. Eventually it got to the topic of money. Which got me here; crying over a notebook page full of math.
I quit my previous job in March of 2010. So, it's been almost a year since I've worked there. I just started a new job at the beginning of this month. In that almost-a-year, I didn't work at all. No income. So, when I finally got this new job I was so relieved, I just stopped worrying. I have an income again, so everything will be fine.
But then my brain started thinking about it tonight. When I first started the job, they told me I would be working full time. But right now, just 3 weeks in, I am working part time hours (they have me at about 24 to 28 hours a week). I realized, what I'm currently making each month... is not even enough to cover my rent. Not to mention all the other stuff, like bills and groceries, that need to be paid for. I am in really big trouble. And I feel physically sick.
I'm not sure what to do. I work 5 days a week, from noon til closing time. I don't really think that working two days a week for minimum wage at some fast food joint is going to make much of a financial difference for me. The only other thing I can think of is to get another "full time" job, working over night. But I don't see how I could possibly work all night at one place, then all day at another, and survive two jobs on just a few hours of sleep I might be able to get.
Doing some more math, I realize that even if my current job bumps me up to 40 hours a week, at my pay rate, I still would not be making enough to cover monthly expenses. I even factored in canceling my cable and gym membership (the only things I could find that could be cut out), but I'm still hundreds of dollars short.
This blog doesn't really have a point. I've just stressed myself out so badly and made myself so sick that I know I wont be able to fall asleep, and I don't know what to do. I thought maybe writing this all out might help me at least feel a little better, in some way. Concentrating on typing has made me stop crying, at least.
I just... really don't know what to do.
